Yoga Jevan

When I fall in love I like to spend all my time with this beloved one. I cannot get enough from this person. But it comes the time where enough is enough. Not that feelings might have changed a relationship, but also the insight that it's good to have some distance after a while. Other friends need time as well. It's also a pleasure to be alone. A symbiotic relationship can develop to a relationship with a bit more distance, with a bit less time together. The intensity needed fade away. I'm convinced of this.

So I feel re Ashtanga yoga for the time being.
For years I had never enough time for my practice because I had a 9 to 5 job and always had to work more than this. Household needed to be done, too and sometimes I wanted to see my bf. A Mysore class was offered once a week in the evening for only 7 months a year. Times have changed and in the last 2 years I could live an almost symbiotic relationship with my Asthanga yoga. Time was not limited anymore and I enjoyed it to wake up with this practice and to go to bed with it. In the meantime Mysore classes are offered in the morning. The practice itself, taking picture, watching youtube videos, blogging, reading books about yoga was all part of the affair. Indeed a very lively and playful connection.
The insight that I must give room for other activities is painful. It's a bit like being left even though I'm the active part. Life has more to offer. I want to get paid for my activities (it won't be teaching yoga).
- What gets attention grows, what gets no attention dries out.
- To limit time always intensifies the time spent is also true.
October is a hot Ashtanga month in Munich. 2 teachers who I both appreciate a lot offer workshops. I won't go. It's painful. The thought that I won't attend is not joyful. Must I really vex myself that much? I mean, I could find ways and money to participate. I could. It's perhaps a sign that after 2 years something new is growing. I want to tame my passion for Ashtanga yoga. A bit.

That we've Mysore classes in the morning here now has changed my life and my ideas how I want to live. That was much. Practicing 6 times a week, blogging about yoga, taking pictures shall be enough. Next year I even want to travel to Rishikesh.  I'm reasonable. I want to keep this Ashtanga love lively. This is why it's good to have something else in life, too.

I shall see how my life goes on. What can I decide anyway.

Yesterday I didn't practice. What a relief that I managed it to write the letter to the health insurance. If my yoga practice makes me more stress than it brings relaxation to me, something must be changed. In the evening I was so in peace, because things got done. (Good that I can blame the innocent yoga practice not to have done a few duties, hahahaha.)
Today I practiced. It was good despite the thought that I don't progress. This cannot be true, too. 3 years ago I couldn't take my legs behind the head, nowadays I can. Today I tried to improve these tiny things that make a difference. The videos from Laruga influenced my practice today. I could integrated some tiny improvements.
- I lifted my leg straight for utthita hasta padangusthasana.
- My hand could grasp the toe without help of the other hand in ardha baddha padmottanasana.
Ah, how nice.

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Primary is on the schedule. It will be a home practice. I'll start and end the practice with the CD by Sharath. It sets the right rhythm right from the beginning on and I hold the last asanas longer than I do without being led throuth the closing sequence.

Focus will be the vinyasas. I watched the youtube videos by Kino MacGregor yesterday night. I realized that mayurasana and  jumping back have in common that I have to move the body forward so that the weight is on the arms. How to move the weight forward is still a secret. I'll explore it today.

Another focus will be the correct vinyasa count. Also the vinyasa count makes Ashtanga to what it is. Uddhaji  breathing, drishti, vinyasa and vinyasa count, bandhas are important in that yoga style. In Ashtanga yoga the eyes are open and gaze towards a point. Eyes are not closed.

I'm glad that I do primary today. It's still easier for me than second series. I need it easy today. 


It seems as if nothing gets done in my life. I dawdle and dawdle and dawdle.
How much room will I give to my yoga practice, I wonder. It's so time-consuming. Daily practice: yes. But no more. Life has more to offer.

Time to step on my mat. 

It cannot be seen from the outside. I was able to take my leg behind the head, also both. Nevertheless it was hard today. Only the breaks that I needed were hints of the inner fight. I went on and on. No extras today. I also omitted nothing. I know that also these lousy practices are important. It's difficult to describe what it is that makes a practice hard. Is it pain? Discomfort? Lack of mental energy? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like a van who has to climb a mountain, somtimes I feel like a plane flying full speed. Today I felt like a van with furniture of 2 families in the back.

Today was the last summer Mysore class. Next time, next Wednesday M is back. It was a lovely summer, it will be a hot winter.

Afterwards I went to the hairdresser. It seems to be  my body day today. Two hours the hairdresser washed and cut and combed and dried and cut my hair, my few hair. I fear she was more interested in me. She's also doing yoga. She wants to meet me to learn something. If she emails me I recommend our Mysore classes. My messages must be clear: I want to take pictures, I don't want to teach yoga. It's better not to mention yoga at all, I become passionate when I start talking about it. I'm still a bit too shy regarding my new passion taking pictures. I gave this activity "taking pictures" more room in the last weeks. It feels good. It helps me to tame yoga. 6 times a week for 2 hours, a short evening session and meditation is the limit. Blogging time is not counted. There are other exciting things in life but yoga.

At home again I wanted to make a U-turn. It's a mess here. This is what I have to do now, I must give my home some energy.

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It's 2 years back already. I remember. I lost my job earlier than thought and wished. Facing the facts that I was without a job again, I didn't hesitate and bought a ticket to Mumbai, India to see Ramesh Balsekar. The 24th September I arrived. This allowed me to meet Ramesh still alive. The 27th September he passed away.

What a mercy for me that I could see him at least once.

"Of course you can see him", M said to me. "It's your guru."  R accompanied me.

My days in India are so sweet memories. I'm thankful.

Clairebear commented that it's already hard to lift the body up with crossed legs. And it is demanding. It already requires core strength. One must be able to keep the legs close to the body. Muscles need to be engaged that we usually do not use.
There is always a tiny step less demanding. If it's not possible to lift the body up, it can be an approach simply to keep the legs as close to the body as possible. First one might like to hold them with the arms. The next step is to keep the legs close to the body without support of the arms.

Bandhas need to be engaged.

Then one can try again to lift up the body with an inhaling. Abdomen need to be engaged. With the next exhaling one can lower the body to the floor again. Shoulders move down. Repetition. After a while it should be possible to hold the pose for 2 breaths, then for 3 breaths.....

Another exercise is to have one leg on the arm the other one is kept as close to the body as possible. The one hand  needs to be pressed against the floor very strongly in order not to sink in on one side. My opinion is that one needs also a lot of strength in the arms in order to manage it to jump back. I try to hold the position for several breath. It can be good to hold it for 15 breaths, too.

From the position below I try to float back. So far the one feet touches the floor. Repetition is necessary. Nevertheless I think this could be an exercise to approach the correct vinyasa.

I've the exercise from the book by Gregor Maehle. He recommends lifting up the body and holding it up to 15 breaths.
The next step is to swing the legs through the arms and to stay there for another 15 breaths. The closer the legs are to the body the better. The strong muscles between hips and legs are needed. They become stronger when using them. What is seen on the picture is still the easy part.

These tiny exercises I'll integrate in my daily life. Jumping backward seems possible, but not without exercising it. Practicing it when doing primary alone is not enough. It needs special attention.

This morning I practiced second series. After a break of 2 days my practice was exhausting. I did it and this is what counts. Afterwards I felt good, this is always so.

I just wrote about extra exercises. In general I want to tame my practice. Exercising 6 times every week is enough for me. There are two workshops in October that interest me. I'm not sure if I'll enroll. There is already enough yoga in my life. Of course it's always nice to see yoginis and to learn something. But enough is enough.  Other areas of my life shall flourish, too. The goal of my yoga is to balance me, to keep me fit. I've no professional ambition, this means I've to limit the time for yoga. It cannot use up all my life. It has the potential to be very demanding.

It's so good weather outside. I'll have a coffee outside. 

Monday morning: I feel it in the bones. It's a bit early for me today. When I focus on the breath and when I survive the practice it shall be enough today. More ambition would be too much. I feel slowly and between sleeping and being awake. I need a second strong coffee. It was dark when I got up at 6am. Nightmares had chased me through the night. I'm glad that I'm up. A modified routine should led me through the first hour of the day. I was too weak to break out of strong patterns.
Let's see what the week will bring. I'm curious.


What a nice place here (see picture). It was the restaurant where we celebrated mother's birthday. They offer Thai food and Bavarian food.

Time to move on.........

My mother's birthday party is over. We all celebrated the annual ritual with a lot of good food and wine. The weather was perfect as well and E and myself strolled around in the close forest. The smell of nature is still in my nose.

Now we're back home. I love daily life too.
Tomorrow I'll get up at 6am and at 8:15 I'll start greeting the sun. My body needs this yoga practice. Living means moving for me.

It was a yoga free weekend. This is sometimes so.

Daily life and party time - bread and wine, it's all part of life.

Of course feed-back is very welcomed and I'm not at all offended. I know that it needs courage to make critical remarks (which I actually see as feed-back). Last but not least it's up to me to accept what was said. And D is right. He realized that I interrupt my practice too often for little breaks and this destroys the flow. Mmmmmmmm. I argued that I need props for second series. I.e. for pashasana I need a blanket. D: "You could also have your blanket handy." Mmmmmm. Right also. These little breaks are avoidance of effort. I relax during those breaks and the mind is distracted.  I know this, but it seems to be out of control. My practice became longer and longer in the last months. After the conversation before the practice this morning, I knew what my goal was: No breaks, no extra breaths, no hair adjustments, no moving of my mat.........Very consequently I focused on the breath and the correct vinyasa count.

The effect:
- I was ready 20 min earlier!!!! These breaks add up.
- My breath was faster because the practice was more exhausting. This told me also that my cardiovascular system got exercised, more than usual. This was what I always missed.
- There was no time for extra thinking or for being frustrated because the jumping through was not perfect.
- My practice got intensity.

The adjustments didn't interrupt my practice.
We summer hole Mysore practitioners are really pampered.

Realizing that my practice was 20 min shorter as usual I thought that these little breaks use up my time in daily life, too. The feeling of having not enough time is an ongoing topic in my life.

In class I'll focus on the flow for the next weeks minimum.
Otherwise I'll go through my routines. I need more time.

And here on my blog I'll focus on my weak asanas (upavishta konasana, urdhva dhanurasana i.e.) and the vinyasas of the primary.
Gregor Maehle recommends to do exercises beside the regular practice. I hope I manage to do it. Focusing on a few exercises could be good. Time: 6pm? Let's see if this additional effort will have a compound effect.